Letting Go

Those who are close to me know that I don't let things go very easily. I insist that I am right when I could be totally wrong. I lug petty grudges around for years. I overanalyze past situations as if I could somehow go back and change them. So when I am told that there is nothing I can do to save someone I love, it doesn't sit very well with me.

As freshmen we were all naive- it's not something you could help. I entered the realm of high school with what I thought was a solid group of friends. I pictured myself laughing, struggling, failing, and growing with each of them- I could not have been more wrong. My unadulterated mind was unable to foresee all the transformations to come.

I'm not gonna lie- I'm no stranger to the effects of drugs and alcohol. I've experimented, pushed my limits, and turned to it in some of my darkest times. But I am one of the fortunate ones who was given the ability to see where their current path was leading to, and head in another direction. As for some of my people... not so much.

You are more than the bottle of Svedka, the bars of Xanax, the cups of Codeine. You deserve a hell of a lot more from a man than deceit and betrayal. You deserve friendships that lift you up and bring out the best in you. This is all so obvious to me, but it isn't to you. I wish there was something I could do to make you see how beautiful you are, and how much you're worth. You surround yourself with people who bring you down, and have pushed aside the ones who love you unconditionally- that's the part I just don't understand. I'm here for you. I've always been here. I'll always be here. But I can't make you come back to me any more than I can force someone to love me. The decision is up to you; you know where to find me.

I love you. But until you're ready to accept it, I am letting you go.

Sincerely, Loso